Happy Friday, Adventurers! It’s almost Halloween, so today I’m bringing you five of the scariest books I’ve ever read! (Full disclosure! I haven’t read all of them. Because they are too scary. But if you like that sort of thing, then, HERE YOU GO!)
5.) In Cold Blood – Truman Capote
I will never read this book. It’s too real. This could totes happen guys! Like, for instance, my mom lives in an old farm house and has a really long driveway and it’s way back in the middle of nowhere and one time she wasn’t there and I was off of work and she was like, “go stay at the house!” and I was like, “NO EFFING WAY.” I will not stay there alone. Ever. Even if she’s just out late. Or she’s asleep and her husband is working late. I stay awake until he gets home because he’s the one who knows how to use the rifle. Nope. I’m not actually completely sure what this book is about. Like, I THINK it’s about people murdered in a farm house, but I’m not going to find out.
4.) The Collector – John Fowles
So, I got a little farther into this book than I did In True Blood, in that I started it. Then I didn’t finish it. Because it’s creepy. This guy stalks this girl and then he kidnaps her and he keeps her in his basement all because he LOVES HER. Also too real. Could totes happen. I don’t like things that could happen. I prefer living in a world of pure imagination.
3.) Child of God – Cormac McCarthy
I have a love/hate relationship with this book. It’s not “scary” per se. It’s not even “creepy” really. It’s effed up, for sure, and totes disturbing. I love it because the characters is amazingly unlikable and yet you can’t look away. He needs therapy, like, on a serious level. You will not want to make out with your boyfriend in the backseat of your car ever again. I mean, if you wanted to do that in the first place. You will no longer want to do that after reading this book. Because you will fear being murdered. And then other stuff, but I wouldn’t want to give away the rest of the book. James Franco made a movie of this book, because of course he did. It is depraved. It is dark. It is Halloween.
2.) American Psycho – Bret Easton Ellis
I have also not read this book. But I have seen the movie. Once. When I was in high school. Which was fifteen years ago. (Yes. I’m old.) Every time I talk about this with people we have the same conversation. “Oh, yes! So scary! So horrifying! How he was just totally normal and awful! Huey Lewis and the News!” And then we shake our heads and shiver and we’re like “ugh, American Psycho” and then I’m like, “and the COAT HANGERS, amiright??” Then the person I’m with looks at me like I’m insane and says, “what? What coat hangers?” GUYS. THE COAT HANGERS. That’s all I’m gonna say about this book.
1.) House of Leaves – Mark Z. Danielewski
Whenever people ask for the scariest book I’ve ever read, hands-down the first book that comes to mind is House of Leaves. This isn’t a book with ghosts or monsters or coat hangers, but it’s a book full of shadows and darkness and things that get inside you and crawl into your skin. It’s about things that are too big and spaces that are too small and how you can grasp at things or how you fall too far or trip or can’t see what’s in front of you or behind you and the way things can so easily disappear. It’s not scary in the way things go bump in the night. It’s scary because it gets into your head and your head feels heavy and full of things. I remember reading this book and sleeping with the lights on, but not for any reason I could actually explain. I wasn’t afraid of anything coming to take me away. I was more afraid of what was inside of me, which is way scarier than anything outside of you. And the WAY it’s written. The way it’s all sideways and upside down and unpredictable just makes it so much worse because you can’t get a grasp on it, you can’t hold on to what it is. When you can’t control it, that makes it even scarier. This book, you guys. I need to read it again.